Tonight it hurts. The ache of loneliness is crushing me, the feelings of inferiority and self-doubt are taking over. Keep trying, try harder, and don't quit. Shut-up. All the things I tell myself just to stay motivated. To keep myself from seeing the truth. The routine I have known is gone, and I am alone again. Yet, it seems to come back and sting me now just as it has in the past. Is it you? Maybe, or maybe not. Is it me? Without a doubt. I have nothing but myself at this time, so it must be me. It is always me. I feel as though the quality of things has been compromised. That the shards of self that I have worked so hard to reassemble, are not being held as tightly by the glue as I thought they would have been.
(Writers Note: March 22, 2009 - I don't want to post this, but I will. A fragment of a moment, an incomplete blog, but not something I can finish now. The feeling has started to pass, and though it is not entirely gone, the intensity has lessened.)
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